My post about The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies went up today at Tor.com.

The new-to-me trailers were:

  • Tomorrowland (IMDB). I recognize that a tried-and-true version of the portal fantasy is going there to discover that you have political agency here, but the way this phrased things I didn't have any faith that it would get to the second step, and so I was really mad.
  • Kingsman: The Secret Service (IMDB). Things I could give zero fucks about: a white boy learning he's ~~special~~ in a school that teaches him to wield his talents for violence and rulebreaking on behalf of the state, with the only black face I noticed as the bad guy.
  • San Andreas (IMDB). Nice to see Dwayne Johnson as the lead, but disaster porn isn't my thing.
  • Mad Max: Fury Road (IMDB). Well, I suspect it realizes how ridiculous it is?

Went up today at Tor.com. I'd appreciate comments going there if possible, but regardless, enjoy my absurdly long thoughts!

My post about The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is now up at Tor.com. SPOILERS for the movie and everything Tolkien.

Trailers (links to YouTube):

  • The Host: this ought to be full of id-tastic possibilities, but the acting seems boring as fuck, even if it weren't Stephenie Meyer.
  • The Lone Ranger: you have got. to. be. kidding.
  • After Earth: Will Smith and son in a post-apocalyptic child-in-jeopardy story. I notice they don't mention M. Night Shyamalan as the director.
  • Oblivion: another post-apocalyptic grimdark story, this time with Tom Cruise. No thank you.
  • Man of Steel: didn't they just reboot Superman? I'm confused. Also bored.
  • Star Trek Into Darkness: having not seen the first, all I can say is that the soundtrack of Inception has a lot to answer for. *horn blare* Also, look, more grimdark!
  • Jack the Giant Slayer: look! something not grimdark! Unfortunately the title character is clearly trying to be Westley in The Princess Bride (he even calls himself a farmboy at one point). And the actor is so pudding-faced and bland that it's hard to believe he's the title character, let alone Westley. (It's worth watching the first thirty seconds just to hear Ian McKellen's voiceover, though.)

MTV asks Martin Freeman, Ian McKellan, and Andy Serkis, to play Fuck, Marry, Kill with Tolkien characters, and it is amazing: three-minute video.

(Nb.: not seeing The Hobbit until this weekend, no movie spoilers.)

The Gameological Society has an ode to Glitch, for those of you who played.

Tobias Buckell, "How I used Kickstarter to reboot a book series, and my career (and maybe my life?)".

Okay, I'm done now, honest.

While feeding the Pip I perused some of the news coming out of Comic Con.

I am unsurprised that nothing about Iron Man 3 sounds good to me—also, somehow I'd missed that the Mandarin is being played by Ben Kingsley, which, really? But I didn't expect to start liking that franchise on the third installment.

I am unsurprised but disappointed that all the things added to The Hobbit sound awful in exactly the ways that I disliked about the LotR movies. I mean, I'll still go for Martin Freeman, but ugh.

But all of that is overshadowed for me by the announcement of the next Captain America movie's title as Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Seriously, opening night no matter what I have to do for babysitting.

So SteelyKid and I are home sick today, and while she napped and I ate lunch, I watched the first behind-the-scenes video from the set of The Hobbit (Facebook).

Most of it was, you know, fine; good to see Ian McKellen being adorable and a little glimpse of him, Martin Freeman, and all the actors playing the dwarves walking through a scene, but otherwise pretty familiar kinds of things from the LotR DVD extras and starting to get a little bit long toward the end.

But the last twenty seconds? Hairs on the back of my neck, seriously.

I have a lot of reservations about this project (if this sinus headache cooperates, I hope to queue up the last of the movie re-watch posts for Tor.com tonight), but I cannot deny that Jackson et al. get some things very right.

May 2017

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