kate_nepveu: sleeping cat carved in brown wood (Default)

So I feel the need to put two disclaimers on this post: first, it contains medical unpleasantness that might be considered a bit gory, and second (for those contemplating their first delivery), it is absolutely not a typical chain of events.

The short version is that I had, not the worst of both worlds (since nothing irreparable happened), but the most: a C-section, with some complications, at about the furthest point possible in labor.

the long version )

And so, in conclusion:

  1. Chad and I apparently have babies with big, hard heads;
  2. I have comically long contractions when in labor;
  3. I don't know if, after this, my doctor would let me attempt a vaginal birth again;
  4. But it shouldn't matter, because we were already planning on two and only two kids, and so when I told Chad, first thing when I saw him in the recovery room, "I love you very much and we're never doing this again," it was not actually a new decision prompted by the whole experience;
  5. Even though I meant it (and he agreed);
  6. Look, an adorable baby!

off to hospital

Sunday, November 6th, 2011 01:25 pm
kate_nepveu: sleeping cat carved in brown wood (Default)
Probably past time, really, but was waiting for SteelyKid's grandparents to arrive.
kate_nepveu: sleeping cat carved in brown wood (Default)

I am pretty sure I am not in labor, but I would have told you different an hour ago, so who knows? But I didn't feel confident enough to update the "not in labor" post's datestamp.

(Had a pattern, seems to have wavered then vanished in the hour since I got up. At any rate, packed a hospital bag yesterday and ate a good breakfast just now, so while I'm wobblier than I'd like (pain tends to make me a little shocky), well, I guess things are as well as could be expected.)

kate_nepveu: sleeping cat carved in brown wood (Default)

I will update the date on this post when I first sit down at the computer every morning. But if it's been more than a day, you probably want to check Chad's Twitter account before jumping to conclusions.

(This is marked "don't show on reading pages" so as not to keep showing up; anyone who really cares will find it by clicking on the "pregnancy" tag or my username.)

kate_nepveu: sleeping cat carved in brown wood (Default)

1. Perils of professional monofocus: walk into a jeweler's today, tell first person I see that I need rings cut off, get sent across room to second person who looks immediately at my hand and says, never looking up, "Gosh, I wonder how those got so small?" "Well," says I, "I imagine being 37 weeks pregnant has something to do with it . . . "

(The jeweler was very careful and it was considerably less uncomfortable than my attempts to get it off myself. And the engagement ring has needed resizing for a while, anyway.)

2. If I haven't posted anything substantive for a while and you're wondering if I've gone off to the hospital, I have made a post titled as of the date stamp on this post, I am still not in labor; it's marked to not show on reading pages, so people can find it by clicking on the "pregnancy" tag or just my username, as it should always be at the top or very close to it. Still nominally two and a half weeks to go, but people keep asking and I had the idea, so hey.

3. Speak to me of slings and wraps for carrying infants against adults' fronts. We had a pouch-type sling that we liked a lot because it had straps for both shoulders, but I gather that those are now considered unsafe?

The ideal candidate would be simple to get into (I doubt my ability to fasten straps while trying to keep a baby from falling out), would allow easy transfer of a sleeping kid out of it (we would just slip the sling over our shoulders, put it down in the crib, and then ease SteelyKid out), and would either be easily adjustable for very different heights or, at least, be suitable for someone six and a half feet tall. Ability to breastfeed in it is not a priority.

kate_nepveu: sleeping cat carved in brown wood (Default)

Thanks again to those who helped me brainstorm about the topic previously. The resulting post, A Plea to SFF Writers for Variety in Pregnancy and Childbirth Depictions, is now up at Tor.com. Please direct substantive comment there.

(Also, I managed to write an entire post about pregnancy and childbirth without referring to the pregnant person as female, so thank you, people who talk about trans stuff, it does make a difference. (Though, on re-reading, there is an embedded assumption behind one physical-symptom example, so I did not achieve complete neutrality, vex.))

kate_nepveu: sleeping cat carved in brown wood (Default)

Quick pregnancy update, here with four weeks theoretically left.

The mug shots:

the traditional pictures )

How I'm feeling:

all things considered, not bad )

In related news, as I mentioned on FB yesterday, we have the crib reassembled, the new dresser scheduled for delivery, and a lovely generous stack of boxes full of clothes to put into the dresser. So while this is not (not!!) permission for FutureSibling to come out early, I feel much more relieved at our basic readiness. We have also decided on legal names (which, like the sex, will be a surprise), though I think the nom d'Internet options may still be uncertain.

(We are also very close to being ready for the book purge! Watch this space for details.)

Oh hey, medical folks: if my engagement and wedding rings needed to come off in a hurry, it would take some effort. If the fingernail on that finger is pink and regains color after being pressed at the same rate as the other fingers on that hand, and if the rings themselves aren't causing me discomfort, is there any reason I shouldn't keep them on? That is, is there any reasonable scenario in which I'd need the third finger on my left hand to be ring-free in a hurry, or in which the rings would cause other problems?

ETA: thank you, I am answered, and off they shall come (not today, though, we are having unusually warm weather and even the ring on my right hand, which came off fine the other day, is being stubborn).

As always, no unsolicited advice, no horror stories.

kate_nepveu: sleeping cat carved in brown wood (Default)

That's not the exit.

That's not the exit either.

That . . . might actually be the exit, because I'm not sure what else in that vicinity would result in sensations like that, but don't even think it, you've got eight weeks to cook before you're allowed to care. (Also: ow.)

With love and great sincerity,

Me

pregnancy update

Monday, August 15th, 2011 10:38 pm
kate_nepveu: sleeping cat carved in brown wood (Default)

At the start of week 28, the beginning of the third trimester, I thought I'd do a quick update.

First, the mug shots:

two pictures )

Second, how I'm feeling: basically okay, with some hormonally-amplified anxiety issues )

Finally, allow me to share with you two actual things said to me today, so that you may know not to say them:

First: "Don't run, you make me nervous!" (Pronouns! Autonomy! Fuck you!)

Second: "So are you excited?" (What would you have done if I said no?)

(With regard to the latter, "Best wishes" is a good safe acknowledgment of someone's pregnancy.)

kate_nepveu: sleeping cat carved in brown wood (Default)

Hey DW,

I've been planning a blog post on the topic "a plea for variety in depictions of pregnancy and childbirth, or, your clichés are boring." It seems to me the big ones in stock portrayals of pregnancy and childbirth are morning sickness; mood swings; food cravings; delivery flat in back in bed; and fathers freaking out. (Let us put aside the tendency to see pregnant bodies as horrific and tools/things to be invaded, for the moment.)

What other major clichés are there about pregnancy and childbirth? What key things would you want writers to remember when writing pregnant characters? And, separately, what big-picture questions should SFF writers think about when doing worldbuilding around pregnancy and childbirth?

(I'm not sure if this should also include newborns; I can't think of any big clichés there, except maybe the cluster of things around breastfeeding, which may be just too complicated.)

kate_nepveu: sleeping cat carved in brown wood (Default)

First:

Springing off a discussion in [site community profile] dw_suggestions, what do you like to see in people's DW/LJ profiles/blog about-boxes/whatever? What are interesting things you've seen people communicate in those spaces? What was really important to you to put in yours? Or if you don't use that kind of thing, do you use anything else instead?

As I said over there, I spent a ridiculous amount of time on my own recent profile revamp (feedback welcome!); I find this sort of thing intrinsically fascinating.

* * *

Second:

Two actual pregnancy-related FAQs, with my usual answers:

Q: How are you feeling?
A: Busy.

Q: What are you having? / Do you know what you're having?
A: A baby.

Preferred, though less frequent, questions:

Q: How are you? / How's it going? / How are things?
A: Busy. (In all likelihood. But at least I won't feel like I've been reduced to my reproductive capacity by the entirely well-meaning, yet cumulatively frustrating, replacement of "how are you" as the default acknowledgment-of-existence to me.)

Q: Do you know / are you going to find out the sex?
A: It's going to be a surprise.

Readercon post tomorrow, I hope.

resounding *thuds*

Monday, June 27th, 2011 09:16 pm
kate_nepveu: sleeping cat carved in brown wood (Default)

pregnancy natter )

Brought to you by FutureSibling's appreciation of M&M cookies. And on the subject of the Calorie Dance, has anyone heard from [personal profile] vito_excalibur lately?

reminder to self

Tuesday, June 14th, 2011 12:11 am
kate_nepveu: sleeping cat carved in brown wood (Default)

One of the ways that hormones mess with your emotional state is that you forget that hormones mess with your emotional state.

(Also, you should really go to bed before midnight, no matter how much work you have to do. Especially on nights when you reasonably expect SteelyKid to sleep poorly because she's apparently coming down with something.)

Return of a T-shirt

Tuesday, June 7th, 2011 10:57 pm
kate_nepveu: sleeping cat carved in brown wood (Default)

Taken today. I am making a weird face, but that's not the important bit:

cut for two pictures )

The shirt says, "Yes, I'm pregnant. NO, you may not touch my belly." Because I am, and you may not.

Items of note:

  • Due early November [*];
  • Sex, as before, to be a surprise (ditto potential names);
  • Symptoms objectively worse than first pregnancy, but getting better;
  • So much more protruding than last time (look at the first page of the old mug shot gallery, where at a week later than this you could barely tell);
  • If you saw me recently and are wondering where I was hiding that, the answers are (1) under looser shirts and (2) either sitting down or sucking my gut in. Yes, I felt very awkward about it;
  • I botched giving the news to SteelyKid today [**], but she seemed quite matter-of-fact about it by bedtime.

notes )

And if you don't care about pregnancy and/or babies, a major book cull in honor of FutureSibling (more specifically, the need to make room for FutureSibling's nursery) is coming soon. Ish.

As always, no unsolicited advice, no horror stories.

ETA: Chad has an ultrasound picture and a SteelyKid conversation.

kate_nepveu: sleeping cat carved in brown wood (Default)

When I first came home, I mentioned that I was planning to do a post about how I came to have a C-section, since I knew a couple of people would be interested. So much time has passed that it seems a little silly to do it now, but I did say I would.

cut for unpleasant but not gory medical stuff )

kate_nepveu: headshot of German Shepherd mix dog against snow (Emmy)

Tonight we had Chinese food for dinner (more because we misremembered the leftover situation, Chad likes it, and I wasn't that hungry, than because we wanted to test an urban legend). Just as we were ready to take Emmy on her post-dinner walk, Chad reminded me that we hadn't eaten the fortune cookies.

The delivery place had sent three cookies, so I said, "Oh, the third can be for FutureBaby." (Emmy: "Hey! What about me?")

Mine: "Depend on your feet, you can climb the highest mountain."

Chad's: "A very attractive person has a message for you."

The third: "Time is not measured by a watch but by moments."

We looked at this in silence for a moment, and then Chad said, "We are so screwed."

"No, no," I said, "this was really for Emmy! After all, she's never looked at a watch in her life."

Emmy just wanted to know if this meant that she got to eat the cookie. (Alas, no.)

pregnancy update

Monday, August 4th, 2008 02:00 pm
kate_nepveu: sleeping cat carved in brown wood (Default)

FutureBaby performed beautifully on the non-stress test today, and so we have the just-in-case induction scheduled for as late as possible, Thursday night into Friday morning. My doctor thinks it won't be necessary, which we hope is the case.

Now I'm going to go finish putting together my hospital bag, in case that's the reason I haven't gone into labor yet. (We're starting to run out of them—average due date reached, Miyazaki-inspired flying bison ordered, Indian food eaten, nursery decorated, work-related stuff I resolved to get done finished . . . I think I need to imitate Chad and publicly vow to do some time-consuming project, like re-reading all eleven Vlad Taltos books or reading some complex and new-to-me book. Unfortunately I can't vow to finish The Tale of Genji because it's too heavy for me to hold comfortably; finishing the in-progress cross-stitch or writing long complicated posts is probably not wise for the same reason. I will contemplate it, after I finish staring at the bookshelves to pick hospital books.)

As usual, no unsolicited advice, no horror stories, thank you.

kate_nepveu: sleeping cat carved in brown wood (Default)

Because FutureBaby:

  • will be perfectly average physically (since I am shorter than average and Chad is taller than average), and is thus going for the reported 41 weeks + 1 day average for first babies. Which would be Monday.
  • is not quite finished developing his or her Theory of Everything. (Fortunately, FutureBaby's universe is really really small at the moment, so it doesn't have to be a very complicated theory.)
  • overheard a co-worker tell me that you're not ready for labor until you're really, really uncomfortable, and knows I'm only somewhat uncomfortable right now.
  • is holding out for a cool birthday like 8/8/08.
  • wants a Miyazaki-inspired flying bison and knows we haven't actually purchased one yet, despite offering it as a bribe.
  • is waiting for the timer to pop up. [*]
  • is calibrating just how far Chad's patience can be pushed.
  • wants Chinese or Indian food.
  • was waiting for the air conditioning to be fixed. And hey, the repair guy just left, so . . .

[*] I have had this fancy for, oh, months, that when my navel goes completely "outie," it'll be like the pop-up timer on a turkey: *bing*! Fully cooked! And it's not quite there yet.

As usual, no unsolicited advice, no horror stories, thank you.

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