I need to scream about how awful this is before I can settle down to do work

[kate_nepveu]

SO. GROSS.

This post contains: sexism, stunt violence that echoes actual violence, stunning lack of self-awareness, stupid pregnancy tricks, and probably some other stuff too.

Listening to this podcast. (Note has animal endangerment but happy ending.) Apparently baby "gender" (i.e., sex) parties are a thing? Where medical professionals tell a friend instead of the expectant parent(s) and then they like, put pink or blue balloons in a box to be opened and everyone's like "ooh"?

This couple decided it would be a good idea to have two stunt fighters battle, a guy and a girl, and whoever killed the other was the one that had the same sex as the fetus.

. . . but wait, it gets worse!

The "cute" reveal is that, as the stunt fighters decided to choreograph it, the guy snaps the girl's neck just as it seems she's victorious. And the family on the podcast was just like, it was so funny! Except, the pregnant woman said, apparently you can hear on the video that she was sounding upset when it seemed like the girl was winning. (The hosts did gently comment on the weirdness here, but only a little.)

Snapped. Her. Neck.

How do you have so little awareness of what you're saying? Why on earth would you think it was a good idea at all, let alone to choreograph that way?

The video exists, just so you know it's real, but I wouldn't watch it, because WHAT THE FUCK.

Okay, seriously, I have so much work to do tonight, but I was listening to that as I did the dishes and I really, really had to vent before I could possibly concentrate.

Comments

[yhlee]

I'm so reminded of why Joe and I opted firmly not to even be told the lizard's sex before she was born: so we could honestly say, every time some meddling fucking idiot busybody asked, that we had no clue. In South Korea it's illegal anyway to find out ahead of time anyway (although I'm under the impression that you can get around this if you try) because boys are favored so much more. :/

[leighdb]

Wow. That's like, not even subtext.

What is wrong with people, seriously.

[the_rck]

We found out the sex in advance, but I thought seriously about not because I knew that, either way, I'd be both glad and sorry. I wanted one of each, but there was no way we were going to have more than one pregnancy, so...

[mme_hardy]

Oh, Jesus.

I had only heard of the special bakery deal where you handed the bakery a sealed envelope from your doctor and they made either a pink or blue cake and then iced it with white frosting for your shower.

I kinda miss the days when it was assumed you didn't know and that was just fine.

E: Mine were 20 years ago and I only had an ultrasound for one of them, so it was pretty much "Probably a girl, could be a boy who's really good at hiding his penis." It was a girl.

[sovay]

as the stunt fighters decided to choreograph it, the guy snaps the girl's neck just as it seems she's victorious. And the family on the podcast was just like, it was so funny!

What the hell.

The concept of baby gender parties (which I assume are called that because "baby sex parties" sounds rightly creepy, I started typing it out and quickly backspaced) is new to me, but the concept of gladiatorial combat baby gender parties is incomprehensible. And not actually less creepy. Just in a different direction.

Feh.

[sovay]

I kinda miss the days when it was assumed you didn't know and that was just fine.

It really interests me that, in the time between the pregnancies that resulted in me me and my brother, amniocentesis became sufficiently common and reliable that my parents had two names picked out for me, but my brother only ever had the one name, because they knew from early on. I can mark a technological shift by the knowledge of my other name.

[trent_goulding]

I first heard about baby gender parties just a couple weeks ago, when my brother and his wife announced they're holding one for their soon-to-be-first-born.

Which, okay, I guess, if it floats your boat? Thank god I've heard no whiff of plans to have a stunt-person battle....

[(Anonymous)]

Amniocentesis is still a big deal, medically, because it's so invasive, with a variety of risks. It's my impression that most of the people who presume gender before birth are basing it on ultrasound images.
Laura Dickerson

[(Anonymous)]

My daughter is 27. We didn't have an ultrasound. The Old Wives would have been right - I carried high and as a fetus she had a heartrate on the high end (both supposedly predict female babies). I had constant indigestion, which supposedly predicts a hairy child. She did indeed have lots of hair.
Laura Dickerson

[mmcirvin]

Yeah, at least around here, they usually only do amniocentesis these days if there's some other strong indication of a risk to be investigated. We found out from an ultrasound.

[ellen_fremedon]

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE.

[lnhammer]

I. Wait. That. They. Uh.......... WHAT?

[wordweaverlynn]

Trying to imagine my response if I'd been at that party.

[kingrat]

I can't wrap my head around this.

[kate_nepveu]

=| indeed.

Though sadly nothing stops people from asking "what are you having" and meaning "is it a boy or a girl."

[kate_nepveu]

You'd think it would be impossible to miss. And yet.

[kate_nepveu]

Though, to be fair, I'm glad I miss the days when you might have twins as a surprise. But yes, absolutely, otherwise.

[kate_nepveu]

Huh, I don't actually know much about the history of ultrasounds; I remember when we had SteelyKid's fetal echocardiogram I was amazed that anyone could match up "black and white blurry thing" with "tiny fetus heart beating," but I never really investigated the history there.

Anyway. Non-invasive imaging can be pretty cool.

[mme_hardy]

You used to be able to buy "twin insurance" so that if the kid did turn up twins you got extra cash for double strollers and so on.

[kate_nepveu]

Well, it does sound creepy, but the general societal failure to distinguish between what bodies look like to an ultrasound and what people identify as, which granted isn't fully accurately shorthanded by "sex and gender," seems even worse when it comes to fetuses.

[kate_nepveu]

I just. It is NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING.

Ugh, whatever.

[kate_nepveu]

SERIOUSLY.

[kate_nepveu]

Possibly it was all a very elaborate practical joke on the podcast? I hope? (I'm sure it wasn't.)

[kate_nepveu]

Since I'm considering ditching the podcast, I'm positive I'd be ditching the friends . . .

[kate_nepveu]

Yeah, it almost (sadly, not quite) defies comprehension.

[thingswithwings]

this is disgusting and horrifying, and a terrible indication of how our conceptions of/relationship to gender is INCREASINGLY messed up. oh my god. how does this exist.