One complicating factor for some people is the existence of a bullying mode by which a person who doesn't have a problem with what you're enjoying, but who does have a problem with the fact that you are enjoying it, sits there and slings criticisms of the work solely to make it impossible for you to enjoy it (usually with the subtext that you're somehow defective or objectionable for enjoying it). And if you try to object or to request that they be quiet and let you enjoy the movie or tv show or whatever they begrudge you the enjoyment of, they'll tell you why you're wrong to object, and then increase the volume and intensity of the sniping comments against the thing that you're enjoying that are in fact are intended solely to ruin your enjoyment of it.
If you're a survivor of that kind of bullying, and especially of a lot of it (as it it happened pretty much every time you tried to sit down and enjoy something in a situation where they could insert themselves into it, even if they had to go to great lengths to do so, and the more intensely you enjoyed something, the more determined they became to ruin it), hearing any criticism of something you're enjoying can be intensely triggery. Even if the criticism is legitimate, you're not going to hear it intellectually, but emotionally, with the hindbrain, as an attack on you, an attempt to ruin your enjoyment of it out of pure spite, or to score social points with others present by positioning you as lesser by the fact that you're enjoying it while they sit smugly superior in their disdain for it.
I'm not going to try to lay down the law as to how much responsibility bullying survivors need to bear for overcoming those triggers (we hear a lot of Just Get Over It, and it gets annoying at times) and how much responsibility critics need to bear for being aware that criticism may get heard as "I'm ridiculing you for enjoying this so that I can get my jollies by grinding you into the dirt" rather than "I'm raising a legitimate criticism of this work, nothing personal."
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2013-02-24 02:26 pm (UTC)If you're a survivor of that kind of bullying, and especially of a lot of it (as it it happened pretty much every time you tried to sit down and enjoy something in a situation where they could insert themselves into it, even if they had to go to great lengths to do so, and the more intensely you enjoyed something, the more determined they became to ruin it), hearing any criticism of something you're enjoying can be intensely triggery. Even if the criticism is legitimate, you're not going to hear it intellectually, but emotionally, with the hindbrain, as an attack on you, an attempt to ruin your enjoyment of it out of pure spite, or to score social points with others present by positioning you as lesser by the fact that you're enjoying it while they sit smugly superior in their disdain for it.
I'm not going to try to lay down the law as to how much responsibility bullying survivors need to bear for overcoming those triggers (we hear a lot of Just Get Over It, and it gets annoying at times) and how much responsibility critics need to bear for being aware that criticism may get heard as "I'm ridiculing you for enjoying this so that I can get my jollies by grinding you into the dirt" rather than "I'm raising a legitimate criticism of this work, nothing personal."