incidents and accidents, hints and allegations

So I feel the need to put two disclaimers on this post: first, it contains medical unpleasantness that might be considered a bit gory, and second (for those contemplating their first delivery), it is absolutely not a typical chain of events.

The short version is that I had, not the worst of both worlds (since nothing irreparable happened), but the most: a C-section, with some complications, at about the furthest point possible in labor.

( the long version )

And so, in conclusion:

1. Chad and I apparently have babies with big, hard heads;
2. I have comically long contractions when in labor;
3. I don't know if, after this, my doctor would let me attempt a vaginal birth again;
4. But it shouldn't matter, because we were already planning on two and only two kids, and so when I told Chad, first thing when I saw him in the recovery room, "I love you very much and we're never doing this again," it was not actually a new decision prompted by the whole experience;
5. Even though I meant it (and he agreed);
6. Look, an adorable baby!

I am pretty sure I am not in labor, but I would have told you different an hour ago, so who knows? But I didn't feel confident enough to update the "not in labor" post's datestamp.

(Had a pattern, seems to have wavered then vanished in the hour since I got up. At any rate, packed a hospital bag yesterday and ate a good breakfast just now, so while I'm wobblier than I'd like (pain tends to make me a little shocky), well, I guess things are as well as could be expected.)

1. Perils of professional monofocus: walk into a jeweler's today, tell first person I see that I need rings cut off, get sent across room to second person who looks immediately at my hand and says, never looking up, "Gosh, I wonder how those got so small?" "Well," says I, "I imagine being 37 weeks pregnant has something to do with it . . . "

(The jeweler was very careful and it was considerably less uncomfortable than my attempts to get it off myself. And the engagement ring has needed resizing for a while, anyway.)

2. If I haven't posted anything substantive for a while and you're wondering if I've gone off to the hospital, I have made a post titled as of the date stamp on this post, I am still not in labor; it's marked to not show on reading pages, so people can find it by clicking on the "pregnancy" tag or just my username, as it should always be at the top or very close to it. Still nominally two and a half weeks to go, but people keep asking and I had the idea, so hey.

3. Speak to me of slings and wraps for carrying infants against adults' fronts. We had a pouch-type sling that we liked a lot because it had straps for both shoulders, but I gather that those are now considered unsafe?

The ideal candidate would be simple to get into (I doubt my ability to fasten straps while trying to keep a baby from falling out), would allow easy transfer of a sleeping kid out of it (we would just slip the sling over our shoulders, put it down in the crib, and then ease SteelyKid out), and would either be easily adjustable for very different heights or, at least, be suitable for someone six and a half feet tall. Ability to breastfeed in it is not a priority.

Thanks again to those who helped me brainstorm about the topic previously. The resulting post, A Plea to SFF Writers for Variety in Pregnancy and Childbirth Depictions, is now up at Tor.com. Please direct substantive comment there.

(Also, I managed to write an entire post about pregnancy and childbirth without referring to the pregnant person as female, so thank you, people who talk about trans stuff, it does make a difference. (Though, on re-reading, there is an embedded assumption behind one physical-symptom example, so I did not achieve complete neutrality, vex.))

That's not the exit.

That's not the exit either.

That . . . might actually be the exit, because I'm not sure what else in that vicinity would result in sensations like that, but don't even think it, you've got eight weeks to cook before you're allowed to care. (Also: ow.)

With love and great sincerity,

Me

Hey DW,

I've been planning a blog post on the topic "a plea for variety in depictions of pregnancy and childbirth, or, your clichés are boring." It seems to me the big ones in stock portrayals of pregnancy and childbirth are morning sickness; mood swings; food cravings; delivery flat in back in bed; and fathers freaking out. (Let us put aside the tendency to see pregnant bodies as horrific and tools/things to be invaded, for the moment.)

What other major clichés are there about pregnancy and childbirth? What key things would you want writers to remember when writing pregnant characters? And, separately, what big-picture questions should SFF writers think about when doing worldbuilding around pregnancy and childbirth?

(I'm not sure if this should also include newborns; I can't think of any big clichés there, except maybe the cluster of things around breastfeeding, which may be just too complicated.)

( pregnancy natter )

Brought to you by FutureSibling's appreciation of M&M cookies. And on the subject of the Calorie Dance, has anyone heard from vito_excalibur lately?

Taken today. I am making a weird face, but that's not the important bit:

( cut for two pictures )

The shirt says, "Yes, I'm pregnant. NO, you may not touch my belly." Because I am, and you may not.

Items of note:

• Due early November [*];
• Sex, as before, to be a surprise (ditto potential names);
• Symptoms objectively worse than first pregnancy, but getting better;
• So much more protruding than last time (look at the first page of the old mug shot gallery, where at a week later than this you could barely tell);
• If you saw me recently and are wondering where I was hiding that, the answers are (1) under looser shirts and (2) either sitting down or sucking my gut in. Yes, I felt very awkward about it;
• I botched giving the news to SteelyKid today [**], but she seemed quite matter-of-fact about it by bedtime.

( notes )

And if you don't care about pregnancy and/or babies, a major book cull in honor of FutureSibling (more specifically, the need to make room for FutureSibling's nursery) is coming soon. Ish.

As always, no unsolicited advice, no horror stories.

ETA: Chad has an ultrasound picture and a SteelyKid conversation.

When I first came home, I mentioned that I was planning to do a post about how I came to have a C-section, since I knew a couple of people would be interested. So much time has passed that it seems a little silly to do it now, but I did say I would.

( cut for unpleasant but not gory medical stuff )

FutureBaby performed beautifully on the non-stress test today, and so we have the just-in-case induction scheduled for as late as possible, Thursday night into Friday morning. My doctor thinks it won't be necessary, which we hope is the case.

Now I'm going to go finish putting together my hospital bag, in case that's the reason I haven't gone into labor yet. (We're starting to run out of them—average due date reached, Miyazaki-inspired flying bison ordered, Indian food eaten, nursery decorated, work-related stuff I resolved to get done finished . . . I think I need to imitate Chad and publicly vow to do some time-consuming project, like re-reading all eleven Vlad Taltos books or reading some complex and new-to-me book. Unfortunately I can't vow to finish The Tale of Genji because it's too heavy for me to hold comfortably; finishing the in-progress cross-stitch or writing long complicated posts is probably not wise for the same reason. I will contemplate it, after I finish staring at the bookshelves to pick hospital books.)

As usual, no unsolicited advice, no horror stories, thank you.